How to Get the Most Out of Therapy: Tips for New Clients

Starting therapy can feel like stepping into the unknown. Maybe you’re dealing with stress, anxiety, or past trauma, or you simply want to understand yourself better. Whatever the reason, therapy is an investment in yourself—but like any investment, you’ll get the best return when you engage with it actively.

Some people expect therapy to be a passive process: you show up, talk about your problems, and your therapist provides the solution. But therapy is most effective when it’s a collaborative effort between you and your therapist. Research consistently shows that client engagement plays a huge role in therapy outcomes (Wampold & Imel, 2015).

Here’s how to make the most of your sessions.

1. Set Clear Goals (Even if They’re Flexible)

One of the first questions your therapist may ask is: What do you hope to get out of therapy? It’s okay if you’re not sure. Some people have a clear issue they want to tackle (e.g., overcoming social anxiety), while others just know they’re struggling and need support.

If you don’t have a specific goal yet, think in terms of what better would look like for you. Do you want to feel less overwhelmed? Improve your relationships? Be more confident at work? Identifying a direction, even loosely, gives therapy momentum.

You can revise your goals as you go. Therapy is a process, and your needs may evolve over time.

2. Be Open and Honest (Even When It’s Hard)

It’s natural to want to put your best foot forward—even in therapy. But the more real you are, the more helpful therapy will be. Your therapist is there to help, not judge. That means:

✔️ Talk about what’s really on your mind, even if it’s uncomfortable.

✔️ Don’t censor yourself. If something feels too difficult to say, acknowledge that—it can be a great starting point.

✔️ Mention doubts about therapy itself. If you're skeptical or struggling with the process, bring it up.

A strong therapeutic alliance—the trust and rapport between you and your therapist—is one of the biggest predictors of successful therapy (Norcross & Lambert, 2019). Honesty strengthens this bond.

3. Engage Actively (Therapy Isn’t Just the Session)

Think of therapy like learning a new skill. You wouldn’t expect to master piano or a new language just by attending lessons once a week—you’d need to practice between sessions. The same goes for therapy.

🔹 Reflect on your sessions. What stood out to you? Did anything shift in your perspective?🔹 Try suggested exercises. If your therapist recommends journaling, mindfulness, or a coping strategy, give it a shot.

🔹 Notice patterns in daily life. Are there moments where therapy insights could apply?

Research suggests that homework assignments in therapy can significantly improve outcomes, especially in CBT (Kazantzis et al., 2010).

4. Ask for What You Need (Your Therapist Can Adjust)

Therapy is not one-size-fits-all. Some people need structured guidance, while others benefit from more open-ended exploration. If something isn’t working for you:

✔️ Tell your therapist. They can adjust their approach to better fit your style.

✔️ Give feedback on techniques. If you dislike journaling but love verbal processing, share that.

✔️ Ask questions. If you don’t understand a concept or method, ask for clarification.

Many people worry about offending their therapist, but therapists expect (and appreciate) this kind of dialogue. In fact, research suggests that when clients provide feedback, therapy becomes more effective (Lambert, 2013).

5. Be Patient and Trust the Process

Change takes time. You don’t need to have a breakthrough every session for therapy to be working. In fact, some of the biggest shifts happen gradually and are only noticeable in hindsight.

🔹 Some sessions might feel uneventful. That’s normal. Therapy isn’t always dramatic—it’s often subtle, like seeds growing underground before sprouting.

🔹 You might feel worse before you feel better. Digging into deep emotions can be challenging, but it’s often a sign of progress.

🔹 Stick with it. The average length of therapy varies, but research shows that most meaningful improvements take at least 12 sessions (Hansen et al., 2002).

Final Thoughts

Therapy isn’t magic—but when you engage with the process, it can be transformative. The most important thing? Keep showing up. Even if you’re uncertain, even if progress feels slow, even if it’s hard—your future self will thank you.

If you’re new to therapy, what questions or concerns do you have? Feel free to get in touch and I'll be glad to help.

Sources 

• Wampold, B. E., & Imel, Z. E. (2015). The Great Psychotherapy Debate: The Evidence for What Makes Therapy Work. https://www.apa.org/pubs/books/4317416

• Norcross, J. C., & Lambert, M. J. (2019). Evidence-Based Therapy Relationships: Research Conclusions and Clinical Practices. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6566704/

• Kazantzis, N., Deane, F. P., & Ronan, K. R. (2010). Homework assignments in cognitive and behavioral therapy: A meta-analysis. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1534650110364893

• Lambert, M. J. (2013). Outcome in psychotherapy: The past and important advances. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3695447/

• Hansen, N. B., Lambert, M. J., & Forman, E. M. (2002). The psychometric properties of the Outcome Questionnaire-45. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0011000002197003